SO YOU HAVE A REBOUND

I feel the need to write about this situation, even after I promised myself that i wouldn’t dedicate you a single word no more: here i am, pouring my thoughts out because there’s things i didn’t say, and i don’t have to swallow them. 

You must have guts. You must have guts to walk away from me and all of the sudden have another girl by your side. I don’t think anything about her because as you may or may not know, i don’t know her. If anything, I pity her. I pity her because she’s beside a boy that makes promises he does not care to keep. I pity her because she might be soon getting the same scars that you left in my heart, or even worse, maybe you’ll break her heart for sure because maybe she won’t be as strong as i was to walk away when i thought i deserved better. I bet she’s going to have to tolerate your silence when you just had a fight and you know you were wrong but your pride is big enough to make you keep quiet instead of being a man and apologizing. I pity her because she doesn’t know how bad of a person you can be because you keep so much hatred inside of you. I pity her because she’s going to like it when you tell her “You’re mine” while you’re inside of her, or when she’s down on you. You will repeat that line so many times that she will believe it… but she’s going to hate it so much when you remind her those words when she’s trying to go out with her friends, and you demand that she has to ask for your permission. I pity her in so many ways, and i feel responsable for any pain that you cause her because I knew what it was like to fall in love with you before she did. but no, I won’t be the one who tells her to walk away from you. 

I bet you’re thinking that I’m a jealous bitch and that I want you back and thats why i’m writing this: well guess what! You’re totally wrong. I might just be a little offended of the way you walk in my house every now and then as if you still have a place on the dinner table to eat, as if you were still part of my life: and its sad because i can’t kick you out or treat you any differently because we both know our thing was secret. 

With me you couldn’t create any big physical history because i do not have any type of liberty to go around with you like lovers. I bet you got bored of waiting… and when you got manipulative or possessive, I was strong enough to stop you, and when you felt like you didn’t have any power over me, you left. I hope that she’s strong, I hope that she’s a feminist and knows how to stand up for herself even when she’s vulnerable and fears losing you: I hope she prefers losing you than losing herself. I also hope that your thing with her is genuine, that you actually fall in love with her, that you decide to change your many flaws because she inspires you to be a better person. I hope that you don’t mess her life up like you broke your ex’s life and heart. 

I also hope that you never ever come back into my life: which is pretty much impossible because you and I know that we’re in this loop that never ends and we keep coming back to each other. Well, today i decide that you will never ever watch me dedicating you a glance, a sentence, a word, a sigh. 

I am worried about this new girl, but not because you might fall in love with her… more because you’re a loose criminal and you’re going to keep breaking girls hearts as if you were creating a collection. 

I hope it goes great for you, little bastard. I might as well wish you luck since the ones who less deserve it always get lucky.